There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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