It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
