there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
