Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
