I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We smell like vodka and hangover
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