You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
