It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
