No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
