wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b