I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize