Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks