I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
