it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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