All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize