idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
