Will you blow on my dice?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You are the jesus of drinking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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