Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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