we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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