I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
