Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
