Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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