You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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