i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
