If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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