you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
