And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
