So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize