I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
