Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
