Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
