this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
