every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
