There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and she was petting her beer can
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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