After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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