I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
