I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
