i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
