Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
