Its about making memories worth repressing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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