Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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