I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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