I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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