Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
