So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
