I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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