If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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