K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
