Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
