Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
