they need to just BURY HIM!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
