Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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