All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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