I CAN MOONWALK!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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