omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
