Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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