spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
