you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
