Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
