Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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