woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When are your genitals available?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
