I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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