At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
